So my good day has just totally been ruined.

Don't really have the mood now. I just saw someone's blog which totally made me feel super guilty coz yeah I know that person cares for me but instead of reciprocating that, I'm pushing that person away. Haiya dunno what's wrong with me luh. Maybe I'm better off without close friends. I always end up hurting them and screwing up. Furthermore it's been proven that I'm a bad friend. I don't even keep in contact with my overseas friends anymore and yeah even sg sec school friends too. I'm demanding, stubborn and especially irritating. 

Daddy just made everything worse. He's pissed with me coz I keep procastinating. And yeah he's upset with me which makes me feel bad too. I mean it's not like I don't want to do it. But I mean I really don't have the energy and the time to do it. What's more I don't have the heart to do it anymore. Maybe I should just let him give it to someone else to do it. 

I really wanna go back to South Africa now and have fun like I did when I was younger. Like rolling down the hill laughing and screaming without my parents worrying about my safety. And watching my daddy play cricket, cheering him on. Daddy, when can we go back to missions? Singapore is killing me inside out. It's too stressful for me. School is strangling me, internships are draining me out, making me feel that my life is good is eating me out already. 

What Gavin said suddenly stuck me deep in my heart. How many friends can I actually count on to not ditch me. And how many friends will actually be my default friends when I press that reset button. 

That's all the time I have now. All the best to me for internship tomorrow.